The DadDHD Podcast

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young discuss the “cost of silence” underlying masking, describing how men are conditioned from childhood to hide struggle, avoid asking for help, and “push through” quietly, which becomes especially damaging when layered with ADHD/autism challenges like executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, emotional dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity. Braden shares a story about his son identifying overwhelm at a crowded flea market, highlighting how many men lacked language for their experiences and may go undiagnosed into their late 30s or 40s, often internalizing shame and believing they are lazy or broken. They describe long-term consequences including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship strain, isolation, burnout, and anger. They emphasize peer community support, spotlight the Men’s ADHD Support Group (about 26,000 members, plus Discord and meetings), and encourage listeners to seek men’s support resources and share the episode.You can find out more information about the Men's ADHD Support Group at https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org for join them on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/mensadhdsupportgroup
You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com
 
00:00 Welcome and Setup
00:35 Cost of Silence
01:29 Where Silence Starts
02:01 Neurodivergence and Masking
02:45 Finding the Words
04:37 Hidden Long Term Costs
05:43 Shame Anger Burnout
07:06 Men's ADHD Support Group
08:29 How to Join Safely
09:56 Braden's Community Story
11:32 Feeling Seen Together
12:38 Takeaway and Next Steps

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young use Mother’s Day as a starting point to talk about how ADHD and AuDHD can make dates, gestures, and follow-through difficult, and why appreciation needs to be a daily practice rather than a once-a-year performance. Shane shares involving his kids, Liam and Harley, in choosing gifts to teach them to notice and value their mom, while both hosts emphasize that small, consistent acts of attention matter more than grand gestures. They explain how dopamine-driven novelty, time blindness, object permanence issues, executive function challenges, and rejection sensitive dysphoria can lead to complacency, missed needs, and defensiveness despite good intentions. They recommend systems like scheduled partner check-ins, reminders, trying new things together, learning love languages, externalizing appreciation, and staying present because kids are watching and learning what love looks like in practice.
00:00 Welcome to DadDHD00:25 Mother's Day Jump Off01:33 Teaching Thoughtfulness02:28 Respect as Practice03:52 ADHD Brain Science05:29 Autopilot and Neglect06:39 Follow Through Problems07:33 RSD and Defensiveness08:38 Systems That Work09:00 Check Ins on Calendar10:11 Redirect Novelty Together11:03 Reminders and Externalize12:41 Small Daily Connection13:38 Kids Are Watching14:19 Start Being Intentional15:20 Wrap Up and Subscribe
You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions flies solo and unpacks rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and what it looks like when your child is the one experiencing it—especially in a neurodivergent household where a parent’s own ADHD and past rejection can get activated. He explains how perceived rejection can feel like overwhelming emotional pain, and how parents can accidentally shift into fix-it mode, over-advocacy, story-sharing, anger, or minimizing as a way to manage their own discomfort. Braden reframes the goal as empathy without enmeshment: your child’s rejection belongs to them, not as a replay of your childhood. He offers practical steps—do your own work, pause and regulate, ask what they need, let them own their story, and model moving through rejection—so your child gets emotional space and support without carrying your unprocessed pain.You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we get into one of the most charged conversations in parenting: spanking, discipline, and the cycle most of us were handed before we ever had a choice. We're digging into what the research actually says, why "I turned out fine" deserves a harder look, and what gentle parenting actually means — because the misunderstanding around that term is costing a lot of families.
Learn about why decades of research across more than 160,000 children landed in the same place and what that means for how we discipline our kids, why physical punishment hits differently when your child's nervous system is already working overtime due to ADHD, autism, or both, what gentle parenting actually is versus the permissive no-consequences approach it constantly gets mistaken for, how authoritative parenting gives you firm consistent limits and the connection your kids need to actually learn from them, and why breaking the cycle starts with understanding that it was handed to you — and that what you do with it from here is yours to decide.
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as they talk about the quiet distance that builds between neurodivergent dads and their kids when we keep our lives and theirs in separate lanes. Our hobbies over here, their stuff over there. Our downtime on one side of the house, them on the other. This episode is about closing that gap by including our kids in what we already love, letting our ADHD brains do what they do best, and showing up for the small moments that actually build the relationship.
Learn about why sometimes embracing the chaos of our ADHD brains is exactly how we connect with our kids in ways nobody else can, how our tendency to bounce from interest to interest is actually a gift when it comes to helping our kids explore the world and find what they love, why rough-housing, bedtime, and homework are where the real connection gets built, how to find shared interests without forcing them, the language you need for birthday parties and social events so you stop standing around like a statue, and why being present with your kids is also one of the biggest gifts you can give your partner.
Don't miss the part where we get into what it actually looks like to let your ADHD inner kid out and play, and why the neurodivergent dads who lean into the chaos end up building connections their neurotypical counterparts can't touch. 
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com. 
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com.

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we tackle the conversation most neurodivergent dads avoid: therapy. Not coaching. Not podcasts. Not self-help books. Actual therapy. We dig into why so many dads resist getting professional help, what types of therapy actually work for ADHD, autistic, and AuDHD brains, and why relationship therapy isn't optional when you're in a neurodiverse marriage.
Learn about why therapy and coaching serve different functions and you probably need both, what CBT, EMDR, and DBT actually do for neurodivergent brains, how to find a therapist who actually understands ADHD and autism in adults instead of wasting your time and money, why the parent-child dynamic quietly takes over relationships when neurodivergence goes untreated, and how to start the conversation about couples therapy without your partner hearing "we're failing."
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we tackle neurodivergent burnout and what it really means for fathers. Not the "I need a day off" kind. The kind where your brain and body hit a wall because you've been running at 200% just to meet baseline expectations. We break down the difference between burnout and depression, why they need completely different treatment, and what happens when your doctor can't tell them apart.
Learn about why neurodivergent dads are especially vulnerable to burnout, how to start having real conversations with your partner about capacity, why asking for help is a strategy and not a surrender, and what actual recovery looks like beyond just pushing through until the next crash.
Don't miss our personal burnout stories, why the wrong diagnosis can take you to a dangerous place, and why grieving the version of yourself that could power through everything is actually part of healing.
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com 

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as they talk about managing work life with ADHD, autism, AuDHD, and fatherhood. From the provider pressure their dads drilled into them to the careers they actually landed in, Shane and Braden get real about what happens when the work you do fights your brain and why that cost follows you home to your kids.
Learn about why "just clock out" doesn't work for neurodivergent brains, what the wrong job actually costs someone with ADHD, Autism, or AuDHD and why building a real transition between work mode and dad mode changes how you show up for your family.
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com

Join Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as he flies solo for this one and shares his legacy origin story. He talks about the biological father who said "I can't" and walked away, the complicated and often abusive relationship with his stepdad, and the mom who stepped in and showed him what choosing someone actually looks like. Braden opens up about stepping into his stepdaughter's life undiagnosed, the anger he carried, and the moments he wishes he could take back.
Learn about how undiagnosed ADHD shows up as anger in fatherhood, why breaking cycles isn't clean and sometimes you interrupt them imperfectly, and why the voices your kids hear in their heads long after you leave the room start with the words you choose now.
Don't miss Braden's story about discovering at the passport office that he'd never been legally adopted, the choice he made to change his name for his son, and the comic books in the closet that could have changed everything.
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we dig into masking—the pressure to perform a version of yourself that isn't really you to hide your ADHD or Autism. We talk about where masking starts (the "be a man" messages, the bootstrap CEO myth), how it shows up in our relationships and kills intimacy, and why we accidentally teach our kids to mask when we do it ourselves.
Learn about the difference between strategic masking and masking out of fear, how to unmask safely with your partner without dropping it all at once, and why naming what's happening ("Dad's brain is having a loud day") teaches your kids more about emotional regulation than "I'm fine" ever will.
Don't miss our conversation on how masking hits boys and girls differently, why emotions like sadness and overwhelm aren't "soft"—they're human, and how to break the cycle so your kids don't spend decades hiding who they are.
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com
00:18 Welcome to The DadDHD Podcast + Today’s Topic: Masking as Neurodivergent Dads
02:00 Where the Mask Starts: “Be a Man,” Don’t Ask for Help, and Internalized Pressure
05:46 Provider Expectations, Burnout, and the Hidden Cost of Performing ‘Normal’
07:04 Masking at Home: Why It Damages Intimacy and Relationships
09:01 Dating & Persona-Building: When People Fall for the Mask, Not You
10:24 Sensory Overload, Sex, and Having the Hard Conversations (Not Mid-Moment)
14:12 Unmasking Safely: Let the Real You Out Gradually with Clear Communication
16:42 How Parents Teach Kids to Mask (and Why It Hits Boys & Girls Differently)
22:31 Breaking the Cycle: Modeling Emotional Regulation and Naming What’s Happening
26:30 Strategic Masking vs. 24/7 Masking: Making It a Choice, Not a Default
30:37 Authenticity with Kindness