The DadDHD Podcast

Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions explore why Maslow’s hierarchy of needs can feel like it has a ceiling for neurodivergent parents who have reached stability and self-actualization but still ask “now what?” They discuss how neurodivergence can complicate safety, belonging, and esteem through masking, isolation, and shame, and why self-actualization shouldn’t be the finish line. Drawing on Dr. Cindy Blackstock’s interpretation of the contrast between what Maslow observed while studying the Siksika Nation and what he published, they describe a reframing where self-worth is a foundation for community actualization and cultural perpetuity. They argue that community breaks generational trauma cycles, and that small, consistent actions—engaging in kids’ therapy, modeling apologies, asking for help, and giving kids language—compound over time. You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com.
 

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young discuss “ADHD lows,” the flat, gray, low-arousal state where nothing feels worth the effort, and how it often leads to “dopamine hunting” like binge-watching, hyperfixating, scrolling, or other novelty-seeking. They connect the experience to anhedonia and “indifferent boredom,” framing it as dopamine dysregulation in ADHD rather than necessarily burnout or depression, and warn that mislabeling it can lead to wrong interventions. They share ways to spot the difference from depression (whether anything can still spark interest and whether the feeling comes and goes), and offer practical responses: name the cycle, lower demands, communicate with your partner, watch for upstream contributors like sleep debt and masking, and seek professional help if it persists or worsens. They emphasize the key distinction between regulating dopamine hunting versus numbing, and remind listeners they aren’t lazy or broken.
You can find Shane Thrapp at https://creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young welcome social coach, award-winning author, and keynote speaker Caroline Maguire, who has worked with neurodivergent people for 21 years and has just released her new book “Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults”.
Caroline explains she wrote the book after years of adult clients and parents asking for friendship support, especially amid increased diagnoses since the pandemic, and she highlights common themes from interviews and surveys: masking and people-pleasing, shame, rejection sensitivity, and the need to “find our people” through interests rather than taking any friendship available.
We talk about why parent friendships can feel complicated, how to move from acquaintance to friendship using shared interests and why “dropping a ping,” can help small talk provide useful information, and how parents can model healthy communication, boundaries, and friendship infrastructure by including their kids in their journey.
Caroline can be found at @authorcarolinem on InstagramAnd check out her new book “Friendship Skills For Neurodivergent Adults” wherever books are sold.

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young discuss the “cost of silence” underlying masking, describing how men are conditioned from childhood to hide struggle, avoid asking for help, and “push through” quietly, which becomes especially damaging when layered with ADHD/autism challenges like executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, emotional dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity. Braden shares a story about his son identifying overwhelm at a crowded flea market, highlighting how many men lacked language for their experiences and may go undiagnosed into their late 30s or 40s, often internalizing shame and believing they are lazy or broken. They describe long-term consequences including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship strain, isolation, burnout, and anger. They emphasize peer community support, spotlight the Men’s ADHD Support Group (about 26,000 members, plus Discord and meetings), and encourage listeners to seek men’s support resources and share the episode.You can find out more information about the Men's ADHD Support Group at https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org for join them on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/mensadhdsupportgroup
You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com
 
00:00 Welcome and Setup
00:35 Cost of Silence
01:29 Where Silence Starts
02:01 Neurodivergence and Masking
02:45 Finding the Words
04:37 Hidden Long Term Costs
05:43 Shame Anger Burnout
07:06 Men's ADHD Support Group
08:29 How to Join Safely
09:56 Braden's Community Story
11:32 Feeling Seen Together
12:38 Takeaway and Next Steps

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young use Mother’s Day as a starting point to talk about how ADHD and AuDHD can make dates, gestures, and follow-through difficult, and why appreciation needs to be a daily practice rather than a once-a-year performance. Shane shares involving his kids, Liam and Harley, in choosing gifts to teach them to notice and value their mom, while both hosts emphasize that small, consistent acts of attention matter more than grand gestures. They explain how dopamine-driven novelty, time blindness, object permanence issues, executive function challenges, and rejection sensitive dysphoria can lead to complacency, missed needs, and defensiveness despite good intentions. They recommend systems like scheduled partner check-ins, reminders, trying new things together, learning love languages, externalizing appreciation, and staying present because kids are watching and learning what love looks like in practice.
00:00 Welcome to DadDHD00:25 Mother's Day Jump Off01:33 Teaching Thoughtfulness02:28 Respect as Practice03:52 ADHD Brain Science05:29 Autopilot and Neglect06:39 Follow Through Problems07:33 RSD and Defensiveness08:38 Systems That Work09:00 Check Ins on Calendar10:11 Redirect Novelty Together11:03 Reminders and Externalize12:41 Small Daily Connection13:38 Kids Are Watching14:19 Start Being Intentional15:20 Wrap Up and Subscribe
You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions flies solo and unpacks rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and what it looks like when your child is the one experiencing it—especially in a neurodivergent household where a parent’s own ADHD and past rejection can get activated. He explains how perceived rejection can feel like overwhelming emotional pain, and how parents can accidentally shift into fix-it mode, over-advocacy, story-sharing, anger, or minimizing as a way to manage their own discomfort. Braden reframes the goal as empathy without enmeshment: your child’s rejection belongs to them, not as a replay of your childhood. He offers practical steps—do your own work, pause and regulate, ask what they need, let them own their story, and model moving through rejection—so your child gets emotional space and support without carrying your unprocessed pain.You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we get into one of the most charged conversations in parenting: spanking, discipline, and the cycle most of us were handed before we ever had a choice. We're digging into what the research actually says, why "I turned out fine" deserves a harder look, and what gentle parenting actually means — because the misunderstanding around that term is costing a lot of families.
Learn about why decades of research across more than 160,000 children landed in the same place and what that means for how we discipline our kids, why physical punishment hits differently when your child's nervous system is already working overtime due to ADHD, autism, or both, what gentle parenting actually is versus the permissive no-consequences approach it constantly gets mistaken for, how authoritative parenting gives you firm consistent limits and the connection your kids need to actually learn from them, and why breaking the cycle starts with understanding that it was handed to you — and that what you do with it from here is yours to decide.
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as they talk about the quiet distance that builds between neurodivergent dads and their kids when we keep our lives and theirs in separate lanes. Our hobbies over here, their stuff over there. Our downtime on one side of the house, them on the other. This episode is about closing that gap by including our kids in what we already love, letting our ADHD brains do what they do best, and showing up for the small moments that actually build the relationship.
Learn about why sometimes embracing the chaos of our ADHD brains is exactly how we connect with our kids in ways nobody else can, how our tendency to bounce from interest to interest is actually a gift when it comes to helping our kids explore the world and find what they love, why rough-housing, bedtime, and homework are where the real connection gets built, how to find shared interests without forcing them, the language you need for birthday parties and social events so you stop standing around like a statue, and why being present with your kids is also one of the biggest gifts you can give your partner.
Don't miss the part where we get into what it actually looks like to let your ADHD inner kid out and play, and why the neurodivergent dads who lean into the chaos end up building connections their neurotypical counterparts can't touch. 
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com. 
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com.

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we tackle the conversation most neurodivergent dads avoid: therapy. Not coaching. Not podcasts. Not self-help books. Actual therapy. We dig into why so many dads resist getting professional help, what types of therapy actually work for ADHD, autistic, and AuDHD brains, and why relationship therapy isn't optional when you're in a neurodiverse marriage.
Learn about why therapy and coaching serve different functions and you probably need both, what CBT, EMDR, and DBT actually do for neurodivergent brains, how to find a therapist who actually understands ADHD and autism in adults instead of wasting your time and money, why the parent-child dynamic quietly takes over relationships when neurodivergence goes untreated, and how to start the conversation about couples therapy without your partner hearing "we're failing."
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com 
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we tackle neurodivergent burnout and what it really means for fathers. Not the "I need a day off" kind. The kind where your brain and body hit a wall because you've been running at 200% just to meet baseline expectations. We break down the difference between burnout and depression, why they need completely different treatment, and what happens when your doctor can't tell them apart.
Learn about why neurodivergent dads are especially vulnerable to burnout, how to start having real conversations with your partner about capacity, why asking for help is a strategy and not a surrender, and what actual recovery looks like beyond just pushing through until the next crash.
Don't miss our personal burnout stories, why the wrong diagnosis can take you to a dangerous place, and why grieving the version of yourself that could power through everything is actually part of healing.
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com